English Essay Practice: The Olympic Suspension①



English Essay Practice: The Olympic Suspension①

2016-08-05 11:00

    I started this blomaga to enhance my English writing. I'm studying for the next EIKEN Grade 1 scheduled on October 10, 2016. In every article, I set one topic debatable, and then I write both an affirmative opinion and a negative one.

    Topic: If the planned area becomes dangerous, the Olympic should be suspended.

    [Affirmative view]

    -Notes in brainstorming

    ・Safety of players and audience comes first
    -・Many people gather. If a terrorist attack happens, many will be injured and killed.
    -・Life is the most important.

    ・Becomes a bad precedent example
    -・Many famous players gather. If some are killed, it becomes achievement for terrorists. They will repeat it.
    -・International problems emerge.

    ・Cost for safety should be used for improvement of local life
    -・The government must spend a lot of money to improve security, which is not good for citizens life.
    -・With the money, public health would get better, employment policy could be introduced and so on.

    -Structure of essay
    1.Suggest three reasons in the order of importance; safety, bad precedent example, cost
    2.About safety
    3.About bad precedent example
    4.About cost

    (Main Sentences)
     I agree that the dangerous Olympic should be suspended. Here are three aspects supporting the claim: safety of the players, terrorist attacks, and cost for security.

     First of all, the players and the audience must be protected from being injured and killed. The Olympic is so popular around the world that a huge number of people visit the country. Many of them are foreigners and are unfamiliar there. Unfortunately, it is true that there are evil people in a certain rate who intend to commit a crime. For example, some might try to rob people of something precious or others kill them for only satisfaction. The lower the security level of the Olympic area becomes, the more likely to be involved in troubles people visiting there are. This should be avoided in the first priority.

     Second, the risk of terrorist attacks gets higher in unsafe districts. The Olympic games draw big interest from the world. It is one of the best occasions for terrorists to claim their believes because their terrorism is also broadcast to the world. And once an Olympic terrorism succeeds, terrorists will repeat it following the precedent successful example from which they learn tips about how to do. I believe that suspending the Olympic is far better than forcing it to open with large casualty contributing to terrorism.

     Third, the tremendous money which is spent in securing the Olympic should be spent in improving the quality of the domestic life. Countries of bad public order tend to be less prosperous than so-called advanced countries. Therefore, while sick people can get proper treatment in developed countries, people there cannot because of lack of medicine and so on. While people can work and earn enough money to survive in the former countries, people are unemployed and scarce in money ending up in starvation. Even if the Olympic goes well, the people's life which must be prior to the government's fame will not be better.

     The Olympic games held in insecure districts never brings any benefit either to the country or to the globe. The wise decision is to have courage to stop it and to held fantastic Olympic games in the next time.
    (367 words)

    I have written several essays by now, and in each time took too long time to finish, more than about 30 minutes less than about 60 minutes. I must lessen the time to finish, otherwise I will miss the test because the test's standard has changed since the very previous test. Before it, the reading part was scored the most, but after that, the three part, reading, listening and writing, are regarded the same. I must be good at all the three skills.