English Essay Practice: The Olympic Suspension②



English Essay Practice: The Olympic Suspension②

2016-08-06 11:00

    I started this blomaga to enhance my English writing. I'm studying for the next EIKEN Grade 1 scheduled on October 10, 2016. In every article, I set one topic debatable, and then I write both an affirmative opinion and a negative one.

    Topic: If the planned area becomes dangerous, the Olympic should be suspended.

    [Negative View]

    -Notes in brainstorming

    ・Meaning of Olympic
    -・Claim: Contribute to peace, raise sense of respect.
    -・Analysis: Because of kinds of people. World interest. Big effect.
    -・Process1: Watcher feel unity, the same as they are, know story of individuals having spent time in effort.
    -・Reclaim: Precious opportunity. No other gathering cannot realize it.

    ・Local benefit
    -・Claim: Improvement of local life.
    -・Process: Money from all over the world. Local companies and people get it, use in infrastructure.
    -・Conclusion: Beneficial result for the local.

    ・Players' performance opportunity.
    -・Claim: Governmental obligation, to make players' effort fruitful.
    -・Analysis of player: Hard practice. Bet their life. Success leads to big fame. The Olympic is the only entity.
    -・Otherwise: If suspended, next is 8 years later. Cannot join the next because of age or so.

    (Main Sentences)
     I don't think that the Olympic should be suspended because of little troubles. It is concluded from the three aspects following: the meaning of the Olympic, benefit to the local people, and a governmental role.

     First, the Olympic greatly contributes to global peace. It is a precious opportunity where many different kinds of people come from all over the world. As the Olympic games draw global interest, it is broadcast everywhere, and when you watch those people trying their best in performing, you are moved at the possibility the athletes show beyond our imagination. You feel sense of respect for them, who comes from various racial and ethical groups, and realize that we are part of the same globe, which is essential to grow sense of global peace.

     Second, the Olympic brings huge benefit to the local citizens. People in the world are attracted by the Olympic, and they get into the nation. This makes businesses busy in diverse fields. Foreigners come there by airplane, tourist sites of the nation are visited by many, or domestic products increase the sales. As a result, both the governmental tax income which is used for the public services and the amount of earnings of the citizens rise dramatically, namely leading to improvement of the national economy.

     Third, one of the most important role of governments is to help people pursue individual happiness. A lot of athletes coming from various global areas have made hard efforts to join the Olympic. Although all of them can win the games, they have right to challenge the games and to get the fame as Olympic players. This success changes their life into much better one. Once the Olympic is canceled, the next takes place eight years after, so some of the athletes cannot join because of their age or so. Robbing them of such significant chances should not be admitted.

     Now you can know that the Olympic is profitable in many aspects. Taking the three reasons into consideration, suspending the Olympic games must not be justified by any means.
    ( words)

    In the official examination, I have to finish the essay within 200 to 240 word, so the essays I have written so far are a little bit long. I have to reduce the length, though I must not reduce the content.