Pearl:Y'all know what time it is!
Marina:It's Off the Hook, coming at you LIVE from Inkopolis Square!
Pearl:Yo, Marina! Tell the people the good news before we introduce the stages!
Marina:Huh? Like, right now?! Um... What was the good news again?
(SPLATFEST IN TOWN)
Pearl:You know... The single most important celebration of our culture? The Spla-
Marina:OOH! THE SPLATFEST!
Pearl:Ding ding ding! We've got a Splatfest coming up quick!
Marina:Splatfests always get my ink pumping! I've gotta get my gear ready!
Pearl:Yo, Marina. What's the Splatfest theme this time?
Marina:Haaaaah... I'm too nervous to look. You do it.
Pearl:Fine. The Splatfest theme is... WHAT?!
Marina:What is it, Pearlie? What's the theme?! TELL MEEEEE!
Pearl:OK, here it comes...
Pearl:The Splatfest theme is...
(Starts 6/14 (Fri.) 09:00PM - 6/15 (Sat.) 09:00PM UNICORN vs NARWHAL!)
Pearl:Which creature is more majestic? The unicorn or the narwhal?
Marina:What team are you going to pick, Pearl?
Pearl:Team Unicorn, baby!
Pearl:Unicorns are the most powerful beings in existence!
Marina:Well, yeah. Except for the fact that they aren't real.
Pearl:Yeah, well neither are narwhals.
Marina:Uh... Narwhals are totally real.
Pearl:BAHAHAHA! What?! You think narwhals are real?!
Pearl:Like there are just whales with magical horns poking out of their heads?
Pearl:HAHAHA! Are y'all hearing this right now?!
Marina:No, seriously. My landlord is a narwhal.
Marina:I talked to him yesterday when I dropped off my rent check.
Marina:We got to talking about his horn, and it turns out it's actually a giant tooth!
Marina:He said he brushes it with a toothbrush three times a day.
Pearl:So narwhals have a giant...facetooth?
Pearl:You're really committed to this fake narwhal thing.
Marina:NARWHALS ARE REAL! HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!
Pearl:Yeah. OK, Marina. Have fun with your fake whale.
Pearl:If you need me, I'll be flying on my unicorn through a million rainbows.
Marina:I need to find a new job.
Pearl:Which side are you on?! Head over to the Splatfest terminal and join a team!
Pearl:And that's all the time we've got!
Pearl:Until next time...
2人:Don't get cooked... Stay off the hook!